I wrote what was during a time in my life that I knew would be unlike any other. The piece was born of voice memos recorded during these months, and it will therefore always be deeply personal to me. At the same time, I hope what was can speak to something we all experience: that fruitless desire to hold the wonder and spontaneity of a moment just a little longer; that frustrating awareness that memory and recordings will only ever be a shadow of their subjects; and that final appreciation for what is and the beauty with which the present flows through us.

The original version of this piece was written for chamber ensemble and electronics in the first months of 2020. This version was arranged in the fall of 2021 as part of my senior composition recital, all at once.

This digital download includes the pdf part, three audio files (accompaniment, monitor, and mockup), and an Ableton session with the accompaniment and monitor audio files pre-routed for performance.